Tuesday, July 31, 2007

a study of a friendship...wue-whoooo!

I should carry this clip around for when people ask me what my Best Friend is like. www.southernmartyr.blogspot.com I'm the one driving. I'm also still the Mary.

In case you want the lyrics.......

I been working so hard
Keep punching my card
Eight hours, for what?
Oh, tell me what I got
I get this feeling
That time's just holding me down
I'll hit the ceiling
Or else I'll tear up this town
Tonight I gotta cut

Loose, footloose
Kick off your Sunday shoes
Please, Louise
Pull me offa my knees
Jack, get back
C'mon before we crack
Lose your blues
Everybody cut footloose
You're playing so cool
Obeying every rule
Dig way down in your heart
You're yearning, burning for some
Somebody to tell you
That life ain't passing you by
I'm trying to tell you
It will if you don't even try
You can fly if you'd only cut

Loose, footloose
Kick off your Sunday shoes
Oowhee, Marie
Shake it, shake it for me
Whoa, Milo
C'mon, c'mon let go
Lose your blues
Everybody cut footloose
FIRST - we got to turn you around
SECOND - You put your feet on the ground
THIRD - Now take a hold of your soul
FOUR - Whooooooooa, I'm turning it


Friday, July 20, 2007

priority changes

OHMYGODWHENDIDIGETSOFREAKINOLD! I wonder this because I am buying a new ottoman today after work to go with the new drape and new couch slipcover that I put up yesterday and I AM EXCITED BY THIS! To be fair, the couch looks fabulous and even the cats like it. And they hate everyone.

Look at that! This evidently turned into a "look at my babies post!" Yes, I said babies. I don't have children yet because evidently my eggs are all old and dried up so I have these two lovely little monkeys. The top is Omen after a cat nip binge. Don't touch her when she's like that. Then you have Jones (but you call him Dr. Jones!). He likes laundry baskets and white towels. Don't touch him at all. Jones also likes his privacy. But if you hear the tissue paper crinkle in the bottom of his little cat cube, don't make any sudden moves. That just means he has you in his sights and is getting ready to pounce. Lastly, we have Omen again. Stoned. Again. But it is fun when she is naughty to say "Bad Omen! Bad Omen!" But that doesn't happen very often because we let our babies do everything short of driving the car.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

they're real and they're spectacular...

Yes, that's right folks! After being on this planet for almost 32 years (which is an entirely different blog) I finally have great boobs. Barbie's boobs. Breasts. Mammary glands. Jugs. Melons. Tah-Tahs. (God I wonder how many hits I'll get now.) While working on an exhibit at my fine institution about the history of toys, I learned that while I don't have Barbie's minuscule waste, I do have her 36" boobs. My best friend has the original Barbie boobs at a very expansive decollete of 39." That's the early edition. Mine are evidently the 1997 edition. Evidently they went to 36" to make Barbie more "realistic." Of course they didn't do anything about the 18" waist and 33" in hips.

Life Lessons From Barbie

1. Family is Fundamental.
2. Many Girls have the same name, but you can still be an individual.
3. A shortage of Men won't ruin the party: women have superior social etiquette and important galas don't require men in attendance.
4. Alternative Lifestyles are acceptable.
5. It's Cool to Have Many Careers.
6. You Can Have love and work at the same time.
7. Dysfunction and Deformity are a part of life.
8. War is Hell.
9. All homeless must be sheltered.
10. Monogamy can work.

And finally, a helpful hint from Barbie straight from a vintage Barbie commercial......
"On cleaning day always wear lipstick, heals and a smile-just in case that dreamboat you're dating decides to stop by!"

I didin't realize that Barbie was into that kind of stuff.