one great big swirly

suck
v. To draw in by establishing a partial vacuum
v.intr. To be disgustingly disagreeable or offensive

Hear that loud sucking noise? That's my life. Six months ago I was happy. And anyone who knows me for at least 2 minutes realizes very quickly that "happy" is not a word generally used to describe me. But I was as happy as I had ever been. Husband great. Friends great. Job Fantastic! And I had even gotten to the point that because everything else was so good, especially the job, that it was okay that I hadn't gotten pregnant yet. But did you know that even though I bend over backwards to be home to wake the husband for his job and make his dinner and even pack up the fucking leftovers for his lunch and do all the cleaning, pay the bills go to the grocery store feed the cats AND clean out the litter box and the occasional ball of warm cat throw up off the floor wash the towels and put them away get the mail buy Mother's Day gifts for HIS mother that its evidently not enough. There have been times in the past when I've felt like the housekeeper and not so much like the wife. But I just chalked that up to everyone feels that way at some time or another. But then hubs would usually make up for taking me for granted. Not this time. He didn't even come home this morning. Fuck. Now you can add just not being a very nice good thankful competent professional grown up friendly truthful loyal honest person along with not being a good wife. And it PISSES ME OFF that it hurts my feelings (God what a stupid sentiment) by all the bullshit that I'm having to listen to from EVERYONE and put up with. OH! But how can that be? If I'm "flip" how can that possibly hurt my feelings because I'm such an insensitive ass that I can't possibly have feelings! Guess I'm lying about that too. Can I be someone else for a while? Of course that's what I've been told to do. Be someone else. Guess I'm not good enough for anyone.